Premature Ejaculation -The Hard Truth From A Woman
Premature
ejaculation or coming too soon – whatever you call it, if the man
consistently orgasms first then it’s going to cause problems in a
relationship.
You may assume that we are simply disappointed if you always get there before us, but it’s more complicated than that. Here are a few of the issues we may have with premature ejaculation:
Men will sometimes use the excuse ‘you’re just too gorgeous, I can’t help myself’ and this may be flattering to begin with, but after a couple of incidents it’s not going to wash.
After that we might start to think that you’re selfish and that you don’t care about whether we’re enjoying ourselves.
Selfishness in bed gives us an impression that you are one step removed from a Neanderthal, and that you want us to cook, clean, wash and iron whilst you watch the television. This may sound harsh, but it’s our obvious conclusion.
Although this assumption may be far from the truth, it’s the most logical reason for premature ejaculation as far as we can see.
But, and it’s a big but, learning self-control is part of having an adult relationship. Sex isn’t all about the man anymore.
If you’re a fully functioning adult in all other senses, e.g. you have a job/house/grown-up hobbies, and you’re still coming before we’ve even got started, then we’re going to suspect something is wrong.
Alongside these reasons you mustn’t forget about our sexual frustration over premature ejaculation. On a simple animalistic front, it’s incredibly frustrating to start relaxing into it and then suddenly, what that’s it?
Imagine the scenario. She’s had an orgasm and is starting to drift off into a blissful sleep. You on the other hand are wide-awake, making a tent out of the bed sheets, and feeling teeth-grindingly tormented.
What a tease! What a selfish cow!
What are you going to do now? Cry? Shout ‘For God’s sake – why do you always do that?’ or pretend that it’s OK and go to sleep too?
If you’ve been suffering from premature ejaculation for a while, then this is what your partner has been dealing with.
I don’t need to say that having no physical contact at all with your partner is bad for your relationship. If things end up this way then you may as well be living with your mother.
It’s difficult for us to begin this conversation, so you need to take the reins. If premature ejaculation is ruining sex then we WANT you to start talking about it.
We know that in general men don’t like talking about things, especially not sensitive topics. But it’s important to talk about premature ejaculation, because the only way to improve the problem is to face up to it.
Yes, it is a problem, and it’s definitely an important one that shouldn’t be ignored. If you talk to us then not only will it prevent us worrying, but it will show that you actually want things to improve.
Choose a good time though, blurting it out when we’re about to leave for work won’t go down well. Choose an evening, perhaps you are in bed already, and talk about your concerns.
I promise we’ll be relieved you brought it up. If it takes a few drinks first that’s fine, just don’t drink so much you can’t express yourself properly.
There may be tears (probably of relief), so just go with the flow, make sure we know that you care about us, and that you just need some help getting the premature ejaculation issues under control.
There are techniques which can help. It isn’t the end of the world if you can recognize something is going wrong and involve us in sorting out the problem.
Take a deep breath and start the conversation – it takes a brave man to suggest he may not be perfect in bed, but the end result can be only be improvement; you really have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
Have a read of this section to find out where and how you can learn techniques to last longer in bed.
You may assume that we are simply disappointed if you always get there before us, but it’s more complicated than that. Here are a few of the issues we may have with premature ejaculation:
Is he selfish? Does he care about our pleasure?
Men will sometimes use the excuse ‘you’re just too gorgeous, I can’t help myself’ and this may be flattering to begin with, but after a couple of incidents it’s not going to wash.
After that we might start to think that you’re selfish and that you don’t care about whether we’re enjoying ourselves.
Selfishness in bed gives us an impression that you are one step removed from a Neanderthal, and that you want us to cook, clean, wash and iron whilst you watch the television. This may sound harsh, but it’s our obvious conclusion.
Although this assumption may be far from the truth, it’s the most logical reason for premature ejaculation as far as we can see.
Is he inexperienced?
Another reason we might suspect is that you are inexperienced. If you’ll pardon the pun, learning control over ejaculation doesn’t come naturally and we’re aware that it can take time – there aren’t many sixteen year olds out there that don’t have premature ejaculation.But, and it’s a big but, learning self-control is part of having an adult relationship. Sex isn’t all about the man anymore.
If you’re a fully functioning adult in all other senses, e.g. you have a job/house/grown-up hobbies, and you’re still coming before we’ve even got started, then we’re going to suspect something is wrong.
Leaving us sexually frustrated
Alongside these reasons you mustn’t forget about our sexual frustration over premature ejaculation. On a simple animalistic front, it’s incredibly frustrating to start relaxing into it and then suddenly, what that’s it?
Imagine the scenario. She’s had an orgasm and is starting to drift off into a blissful sleep. You on the other hand are wide-awake, making a tent out of the bed sheets, and feeling teeth-grindingly tormented.
What a tease! What a selfish cow!
What are you going to do now? Cry? Shout ‘For God’s sake – why do you always do that?’ or pretend that it’s OK and go to sleep too?
If you’ve been suffering from premature ejaculation for a while, then this is what your partner has been dealing with.
When we start avoiding sex…
Eventually one or all of the above points will probably lead to us avoiding scenarios where intimacy might start. Headaches are the obvious excuse, but we’ll even start avoiding things like having a cuddle on the sofa just in case it leads to sex.I don’t need to say that having no physical contact at all with your partner is bad for your relationship. If things end up this way then you may as well be living with your mother.
What we expect you to do about premature ejaculation
So what do we want you to do about it? Well, it’s not an easy issue to bring up and we’re aware that you won’t take what you perceive to be criticism of your performance lightly.It’s difficult for us to begin this conversation, so you need to take the reins. If premature ejaculation is ruining sex then we WANT you to start talking about it.
We know that in general men don’t like talking about things, especially not sensitive topics. But it’s important to talk about premature ejaculation, because the only way to improve the problem is to face up to it.
Yes, it is a problem, and it’s definitely an important one that shouldn’t be ignored. If you talk to us then not only will it prevent us worrying, but it will show that you actually want things to improve.
Choose a good time though, blurting it out when we’re about to leave for work won’t go down well. Choose an evening, perhaps you are in bed already, and talk about your concerns.
I promise we’ll be relieved you brought it up. If it takes a few drinks first that’s fine, just don’t drink so much you can’t express yourself properly.
There may be tears (probably of relief), so just go with the flow, make sure we know that you care about us, and that you just need some help getting the premature ejaculation issues under control.
Work on it together
Occasional timing slip-ups, or drunken control issues can happen to anyone of course, but regular premature ejaculation affects both parties (or more than both if you’re lucky) therefore you need to work it through together.There are techniques which can help. It isn’t the end of the world if you can recognize something is going wrong and involve us in sorting out the problem.
Take a deep breath and start the conversation – it takes a brave man to suggest he may not be perfect in bed, but the end result can be only be improvement; you really have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
Have a read of this section to find out where and how you can learn techniques to last longer in bed.
mehn it is not easy.. i think exercise will equally help. peeps wwat do u think?
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